[CommentBot]

<a href="/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=76&Itemid=56">Link back to the article</a>.<br /> <font size=1>(Note: This is original version of article. It may have been edited. Click on link above for most recent version.)<br />(<a href="http://chrisboylan.com/comments">PhpBB Joomla Comments by Chris Boylan</a>)</font><br /><p><strong>Marceau, WV</strong> - A town stands speechless, their empty top-hat at their feet, after news of another mime fire spread from house to house.</p> <p>A silent vigil is being held at the town square a mere 72 hours after the mime fire that killed four broke out.&nbsp; News travels slowly in this small mountain town.</p> <p>"Answering the phone is a ridiculous ordeal!" Kristin Baker, the 15 year old daughter of one of the mimes who made it out alive.&nbsp; "Every damn time I answer the phone and its one my Dad's friends, I yell for them to speak.&nbsp; 'I can't see you miming over the phone!'&nbsp; But it doesn't make a difference.&nbsp; I have to get out of this place.&nbsp; I think if I let Tim get to second base, he might let me borrow his car."</p> <p>The rescue efforts continued for for hours, but local authorities were unable to make much progress until a state trooper called in help from surrounding towns.</p> <p>"It took me a few minutes to understand what they were doing.&nbsp; I tried to give them a dollar so they would stop bothering me, but they were persistent.&nbsp; I even tried dropping a fiver, and that's when I saw the flames," reported Sgt. Rick Perrity.</p> <p>After calling in backup, Sgt. Perrity went back in to help.</p> <p>"I normally try to get off of the mime beat, but I drew the short straw.&nbsp; When I went back to help, I tried to grab the rope they were using to pull people out, but I couldn't find it.&nbsp; It turns out they were using an invisible one.&nbsp; This made any attempt at rescue much harder."</p> <p>While it appeared that the Marceau Rescue Squad was in full action, nothing was getting accomplished.&nbsp; That's when Sgt. Perrity ran down into the shaft.</p> <p>"After getting to the fire location, I yelled for survivors, but heard nothing.&nbsp; I feared for the worst."</p> <p>But luckily for this poor West Virginia town, things were about to take a turn for the better.</p> <p>"That's when I saw this white glove through the heavy smoke.&nbsp; I ran over to it, and five mimes had trapped themselves in an invisible box. &nbsp;</p> <p>"I picked the sickest one up - they're skinny little things.&nbsp; I tried to get the rest of them to follow me out, but they couldn't find the door to the box.&nbsp; That's when I decided to screw it - They were on their own"</p> <p>Sgt. Perrity saved Mime "Gerard" - but Gerard's luck had run out.&nbsp; As the Marceau First Aid Squad began to fake-pump his chest - Gerard let out a cough.</p> <p>"That was pretty much it for Gerard," said local YMCA manager and former mime Fred Post.&nbsp; "Once you make a noise, you're black-balled from ever working in this town again.&nbsp; We'll give him a cot for a few days, but he's gonna have to move on."</p> <p>"It has to stop," Fred continued.&nbsp; "I mean, it's a whole town of mimes!&nbsp; What were they thinking?&nbsp; Seriously, do something useful with your lives!"</p> <p>The town, though battered by recent events, is still proud.&nbsp; A mime with the name tag "Scoopy" walked up to Fred and put his finger to his lips.</p> <p>"No!&nbsp; Stop it!&nbsp; I will no longer be a part of this!"&nbsp; Fred screamed back.&nbsp; "Your name is Bill Schmitt and I went to high school with you!&nbsp; Your name is not Scoopy, and you wanted to sports agent when you grew up!&nbsp; Well... being a mime may actually be a step up from that - but come on... get a real job, Bill!&nbsp; I know you talk to that girl from Beckley.&nbsp; It's time to move on!"</p>

[Chris]

Too soon?

[Chris]

Sometimes I wonder if after the past 18 months of brain atrophy I still have it.

Yup.

Still have it.

[amber]

FUNNNNNY!
am

[Brendan]

I finally read the whole thing and I finally get it.

Did you come up with this? It's hysterical

[Chris]

I misread a headline about a "mine fire". At first I was confused, and then I started laughing.

So, I then started thinking about what a news story about a mime fire would look like. This was it.