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<p>Somehow, despite the fact I am unemployed and must make a telephone call to an automated phone system every other week to justify my check, I have recently been overcome by the urge to consume, to purchase, to make myself poor through gluttony. Even though I do not have a job, I see the main obstacle to my happiness not my lack of a job (which I rather enjoy), but my lack of certain commercial goods.</p>

<p>I actually started to list them, but the concept of listing a bunch of electronics I want just seemed so pathetic and unseemly (I don't like using unseemly and seem(ed) so closely together, but I'm really tired). Nevertheless, I still think that watching my orderly life plan unravel before my eyes should at least make me unsettled. However, it has not. It only gives me enough spare time to properly investigate what crap I need to purchase. Unfortunately, the very same reason I have the time to investigate these products is the reason that I can't afford them. So it goes.</p>