My Greg Prindle story

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My Greg Prindle story

Postby CommentBot » Wed May 11, 05 11:33pm

<a href="/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=52&Itemid=2">Link back to the article</a>.<br /> <font size=1>(Note: This is original version of article. It may have been edited. Click on link above for most recent version.)<br />(<a href="http://www.chrisboylan.com/">PhpBB Mambo Comments by Chris Boylan</a>)</font><br /><div class="pagenavcounter">Page 1 of 2</div><p>For those of you who know him, you know what to expect from a Greg Prindle story. Greg is a college friend of mine for whom life is a trial, consisting solely of a parade of demeaning events meant to frustrate him. His only joy is to be known as this guy and to be mentioned when things like that happen to other people. Enjoy, Greg.</p>
<p>Earlier this week, I was fairly sick. I have been sick for the past two weeks, having just recently recieved medical attention. It was a mixture of chest cold, allergies and apparently asthma. Good Times. After Rick and Bubba, I was in the production studio, doing my usual thing when nature called. When you're sick you know to quickly answer that call. (Don't worry, this isn't that type of story. I'll keep it generally unfilthy.)</p> <p>As I walked down the hall to the bathroom, everybody could hear me clinking as I walked. I have, for the past year or so, placed my keys in my front jeans pocket with the car clicker part hanging out. They are secure, with the added bonus of being easy to access without all of the deep pocket digging. This way, when I head out to my car, with various items in hand, it is simple to get at them. The only problem is when my Micra Leatherman is hanging out as well, you can hear me clinking when I walk. Small price to pay.</p>
<p>The bathroom situation at Cumulus is as follows. There is one men's bathroom off to the side which is smaller, dingier, and in a low traffic area. I prefer this one because I am much less likely to be bothered when taking care of business. Needless to say, this one was occupied, so I traveled to the main hallway where the fancier restroom is located.</p>
<p>This one is almost big enough to allow multiple users at the same time, but not quite. The gulf between a solitary bathroom and one where multiple can use it simultaneously is as great as the Grand Canyon. For a bathroom to grow up and be a restroom, it has to big enough to allow anonymity for those who are handling otherwise unseemly activities. If the people in a restroom are acutely aware of what the other is doing and more importantly who that other person is, then it just becomes a creepy bathroom. Basically, this requires a minimum of three stalls, or two if you're amongst strangers (i.e. restaurant). This is not the situation at work.</p>
<p>At work we have a large bathroom, with 1 urinal and 1 stall. You cannot hide in the stall, and there is NO mistaking where that odor is coming from. Thus, most people choose to use the lock on the door. I am one of those people. However, this decision is the cause of the bulk of the social anxiety at work. Do I lock it and avoid a creep-a-thon? Or do I leave it unlocked and avoid being labeled as a selfish bathroom hog? I am a bathroom hog.</p>
<p>This changes the psychology of the bathroom stay. Because I am hogging the bathroom, I try to get business doen as quickly as possible. As I result, I tend to combine some tasks to save time. No, nothing unsanitary. More like pulling up my pants and flushing at the same time.</p>
<p>Because it is a handicapped accesible toilet, it is as long as this story - and requires a long reach to begin the flush. While doing so with one hand and pulling up my pants with the other, you end up pretty close to the front of the toilet. This necessitates a little jump away as soon as you push the lever to avoid splashback. Unfortunately, this flush/pull-up/jump back maneuver didn't go as planned.</p><br /><div class="pagenavbar"><div>Prev - <a href="index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=52&Itemid=2&limit=1&limitstart=1">Next >></a></div></div><br />
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Postby rjsmerigan » Thu May 12, 05 5:33pm

as you probably have noticed, if you know me, i have some (some would think annoying) nervous habits. examples: angle walking, mouthing words as i read or as other people are talking, etc. know that i do all this without realizing it. at times, i'm just an uncontrollable mess.

anyway, the point ...

after finishing this article, i looked down at my right shirt sleeve and noticed that i had unconsciously rolled it up over bicep. like it was me and they were my keys and i was the one that was about to sick my arm down the toilet to fish out the keys

ridiculous ... I'm hopeless

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I've become the person I generally love to hate.
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Postby Jon » Fri May 13, 05 12:00pm

I know the bathroom well. Does it still rattle violently when flushed?
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Postby jackie » Fri May 13, 05 1:14pm

ron, what exactly is "angle walking"?
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Postby Chris » Sat May 14, 05 4:53pm

Ron -- That's hilarious. I immediately read your response to Amber. I would hope that in some way, my vivid description of detail helped, but I doubt it.

Jon -- Yes. I guess that's why it can consume objects as large as my keys.

Jackie -- Angle-walking is a surprisingly common mini-disorder. I first became cognizant of it in middle school when I would walk from school to CCD (description of CCD for Jews and other heathens -- Catholic Class - like Sunday School for teens - meeting once a week at your church). It was about a half mile on a fairly narrow sidewalk. I would walk side-by-side with my friend and have a conversation.

Inevitably, he got more animated as the conversation continued and faced me while talking. When he faced me, he stopped looking where he was walking and began to angle towards the road, forcing me off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic. Thus, angle-walker.

Imagine what would happen if you were walking side-by-side with a close talker and every time he leaned in, you backed up. Eventually you'd end up off the sidewalk. Similar experience, though not exactly the same. Ron is not a close-talker. Almost all close-talkers are angle-walkers. The reverse does not hold true.

A side note. Angle walkers are never aware of what they are doing. In addition, it incredibly difficult to cure someone of this affliction. However, there is little more enjoyable in the world than being angle-walked and pointing it out to the angle walker, wher they are trying not to do so. The frustration evident in their face is hilarious. I should be a rehab counselor.
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Postby greg » Wed May 18, 05 10:54pm

Well, Chris, thanks for giving me a Google result for my name. I guess I should tell you a related story that happened this past weekend...

This past Sunday, there was a party in Albany, New York, celebrating my grandmother's 80th birthday. Then, Monday and Tuesday were to be spent in Binghamton, New York, in a work-related annoyance. I live in Astoria, Queens. I do not own an automobile. No train goes from Albany to Binghamton.

I planned on renting a car and driving to Albany, and then to Binghamton. The Binghamton portion of the rental car expense would be picked up by my company (after literally weeks of lobbying for this extravagence, which is standard everywhere else).

However, the city that never sleeps apparently contains car rental places that nap extensively on weekends. Other than airports (where I need to show a plane ticket), no car rental places approved by work are open from noon on Saturday until 3 on Sunday.

Fine. Then I will take a train to Albany. I am a good grandson. In fact, I will rent a car upon my arrival and drive to the party ahead-of-time to help set up. I am a wonderful grandson and helper. And then I will drive all the way to Binghamton for work (picking up co-workers in Middletown, which is so NOT on the way). How selfless. Surely, karma will be on my side.

Until my dad decided to leave the party. I followed him out, got something out of my car to give him...and inexplicably SET MY RENTAL CAR KEYS ON TOP OF HIS CAR.

Of course, I realized this ten minutes later, which is coincidentally ten minutes after he drove away with MY RENTAL CAR KEYS ON TOP OF HIS CAR. So, I spent the next hour walking the streets, looking for my keys and cursing words that had never before been placed together...all within the earshot of young relatives. The keys have never been found. The rental place, of course, had no keys, and no other cars. Not one. Not one car. No cars.

The other rental places either had no cars or were not answering their phones. This is at nine o'clock the night before I have to leave at five in the morning for work. I had no car. I had to leave at five. I had to pick up co-workers. I had to submit a reasonble expense sheet to work. I had to arrive in Binghamton at nine in the morning. To say that I had a breakdown would merely pay lip-service to my reaction. I will just say that concerned relatives have been calling for days since.

Anyway, after finally crediting God with once again coming up with an obstacle that I NEVER saw coming, He rewarded me with Budget Rent-A-Car. They did not answer the phones, but they were at the Albany airport when I arrived out of desparation. They had a car! Probably because they were not answering their phones. I left for Binghamton the next day. It cost me $86 and a few years off my life, which is fine with me. Although I wouldn't mind getting that $86 back.
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Postby Chris » Fri May 20, 05 10:49pm

Amber's reply to your story:
I'd rather drop my keys in the toilet.

Needless to say, your story made me laugh quite heartily.

One can never go wrong underestimating the laziness and indifference of the service industry. I'd have to say that like the key/toilet flush, these things are the most frustrating because they unravel out of our own stupid actions.
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