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So, I'm a man who used to cut my own hair.  Yup.  Just took a pair of electric clippers and buzzed it to about 1/4" and then got out the vaccum cleaner. 

It was satisfying too.  If I didn't have my goatee (circle beard, technically) I would no longer get to enjoy the satisfaction of making every hair on my head the some length.  It was like mowing a lawn with the same sense of accomplishment.

So, I cut my own hair.  And then I met Amber. 

She claimed that my hair looked stupid.  (It did.)  She claimed that it would be worth getting it cut by a professional. (It is.)  Which was fine in D-Troit.  But upon moving to Fayetteville, I had a tough time finding someone who could do it well, and more importantly, do it cheaply.  First, I had my hair cut by hot girl with big boobs, but as enjoyable as it was to watch her cut my hair, having a bad haircut for the next three weeks was only kinda worth it.

Then I found Casey.  She was an adorable Southern belle, who talked with a ridiculous southern accent that was endearing in a Gone with the Wind sort of way, not annoying in a white-trash-lady-with-her-face-blurred-out-on-"Cops" way.  So things went along nicely, until one day when Casey called me to tell me that she had left her old salon and was starting a new one.  In six months.

In the meantime, I had to find someone else to cut my hair - or grow an afro.  If you've ever met my Dad when he needs a haircut - then you know what I mean.  Boylan hair does not grow long, it grows BIG.  My big hair looks the same style, it just looks like it was for a man with a head twice as big (which is huge, given the size of my melon.) (I said melon, not melons.  I'm working out twice a week to fix that problem.)  So I found a woman to cut my hair through a friend at work, Kim Kelly/Vegas.

Long story short, (TOO LATE!) Heaven was now my hair cut person ( I do not see a stylist! I am still a man, dammit!).  Well, she was until she left to move to Raleigh to start her own salon.  So, I was screwed again.  Except that Casey calls that day to say she's opening up her place.

So all is well. I go back to Casey and no one knows that I was cheating on them for hair cuts.  That is, until Heaven returned.

Her salon in Raleigh fell through at the last minute.  So she called me up an begged.  And then she begged Kim to convince me to come back.  So I did, just never telling Casey about anything. I just simply didn't show up again.  (A potential problem since Casey remembered my name and job and our last conversation after not having seen me for six months when I passed her place on the street.)

So, now I can never again visit the strip mall where Casey's salon is.  Then I would have to explain why I left and betrayed her.  I know this is a soap opera over a $20 hair cut, but I'm a spaz.  It's no big loss since its a crappy mall anyway.

I've been happily with Heaven (hair-wise) for six months, until I call for an appointment today.

"Chris, I have to tell you something.  My manager left my old place, so I'm leaving too.  But don't worry, I'll be just down the street."

Yes.  That's right.

"I'll be in the Talk of the Town Salon from now on.  I have my own chair"

Let me guess.  Your new manager's name, is it Casey? 

"Yeah, why?  Do you know her?"

 

So now I have to find a brand new place to get my haircut.  The fourth since I got here.